The Lord desires deep communion with us and desires to see us flourish. He is close to the brokenhearted and close to those that are in seasons of blessing. As we follow Jesus, we are not promised to have an easy road.
We actually are promised that we will endure suffering and deep trial. In these seasons, we are called to behold Jesus. In the good seasons, we are called to behold Jesus. As we behold Jesus, everything else around us fades away as we stare into the eyes of our King.
As we receive the Lord's blessing, we can then faithfully walk out what the Lord is calling us to. This calling may be scary and cause us to fear. If God calls us, He will always make a way.
He does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called. This is so beautiful. His love is close, so wide, and so deep for us.
He is love and as we stare at our lover, He pours His love on us.
Oh Lord, you are my light.
You guide my ways,
And give me sight.
Oh Lord, In the darkest of my days,
you help me to stand for what is right.
You lead me through the storms of these cold and piercing nights.
Oh Lord, You hear my cries.
It is only you that puts out the fires to the lies.
Your goodness and your mercy, like sweet incense, forever arise.
And, although, the depths of my soul gives way, Your glory never dies.
I was born in a Slavic Christian household. My parents raised me going to church every Sunday. Although I am grateful for being raised in a Christian home things were not perfect. From the outside everything had to always look good. There was always arguing, my parents never got along until about the last 10 years of their marriage. I don't remember feeling at peace in my home. I know my parents did their best, I knew that they loved me. I was very difficult for my parents and got punished, a lot.. to a point where it was abusive. When I was 14 on March 20th I got baptized with the holy spirit and the gift of speaking in tongues, at age 16 I decided to get water baptized. At age 18 I went on a 10 day missionary trip to Mexico, When I was 19 I decided to attend Slavic Missionary Bible School (SMBS) . After the 5 month program I went with a small team of 5 people from the missionary school to Ukraine and was there for 2 months. When I came back home In August I was so happy to reunite with my family!! Then, I went on a third missionary trip to Mexico in December that year. In January I went to South Carolina to a conference called Kingdom Domain and their I had my first deliverance, I came up to the front and fell back on the ground (hurting me head).. :( and manifested a demon, And was delivered. Afterwards, I remember being singled out and a crowd of people circled around me and I realized I was on the spotlight and felt the Glory of God powerfully upon me. I wasn't used to this kind of spotlight. After the conference I was able to see lots of deliverances being done to other people by the ministry team and I experienced a powerful "lightbulb" moment where God revealed to me the heavenly authority that I carried as His daughter. Shortly after this conference and experiencing God's presence in incredible ways I never imagined possible terrible things started to happen when I got home Satan attacked me a lot. I wasn't very strong in the Lord or not too knowledgeable in spiritual warfare. I remember having a bad fight at home with my mom which caused me to be very bitter because of how much she hurt me. My heart became hardened I became filled with so much hatred. I felt like I could relate to the story of how God hardened pharaoh's heart for not freeing the Israelites when God had commanded him to. I felt the presence and light of God that has been upon me my whole life come off of me for a few months. I was tormented by the devil, I saw the devil, demons and heard them talk to me. I became so numb and petrified that I couldn't recognize myself anymore, I didn't know where my personality and character went. During this time I was put through so many tests, the devil was trying to tempt with with everything you can imagine possible. I felt like there was a big battle for my soul. I had a faith crises. When I tried to pray to God devil had such a strong grip on me I felt like I couldn't even pray to God. Pastors from the church I was raised in were unable to really help me. All I could do is cry for help in my room and I know God heard me. My friend Margarita from a missionary trip to Mexico called me and had me call a women who's son Roman leads a prayer, healing, and deliverance ministry and we set up an appointment for a deliverance prayer session. She told me this is what I have to do in order to come out of the place that I was in. Once I had a few deliverance sessions in this home. Afterwards, I began to attended online prayers sessions and would attend prayers a few times a week, and was educated a lot about how to pray and how demons cause a lot of different problems in families, marriages, and relationships in the people even in the churches. (to be continued..)
The voice of the Lord can be difficult to discern at times and sometimes we may feel lost. I was not always able to discern the voice of God. It took me surrendering everything to hear Him and to feel His immense peace wash over me.
The Lord is our shepherd. He goes before us and He goes behind us. When amidst the darkest valleys, we will fear no evil. He always provides and He is just that good.
Discerning what is from God can be very difficult. It requires a steady reliance on Him and Him alone. We really have to rid ourselves of all distractions and come to the throne room of His grace. He is ready and wants to speak to us. He is always knocking at our hearts and is leading us to new heights...